God's Story... for Guam

World 2: We - and the world - were damaged by evil.

(picture and caption from evangelism.intervarsity.org)

Yesterday as I was checking my facebook and I saw one young member of our church bullying another. The one thought he was included in a certain inside joke and then was harshly told he was not included by the one bullying. It may seem harmless enough, but while I was reading, I felt all the feelings of the one as if I were him, the victim. An unexplainable rush of feelings of rejection came over me for the rest of the day, and I could not focus on anything. All I felt was what this young person might be feeling. I wondered, how can you do that to another person in cold blood? Them both being from church only complicates matters. Church is no longer a safe place to be accepted and loved for some.

Speaking of cold blood, last night the horrors of murder came to Guam. A 21-year old drove his car into a store in Tumon and killed 3 and injured several others by stabbing them. A common feeling held by many this morning was, "this is Guam, this doesn't happen here." Our small island watches the recent murders in Alabama and feels sorrow, but secure that nothing like that could happen here. Now that it's happened in our front yard, all of us are feeling reality's cold touch. We must ask, "why did this happen?" Even if this young man's motive could be explained away by something like bullying or drunkenness or depression, we are left with the why's of bullying and drunkenness and depression. Why, why, why? 

To be honest, I tried to ignore the news last night and forget the bullying I had seen. But the feeling of grief didn't leave me. So I feel like I must post a paper I wrote for Evangelism class 2 days ago called "God's Story." The assignment was to write a short message to share with others about the message of the gospel. I believe the Bible has a full answer to the why's of yesterday. I don't think my explanation is perfect, but it's helped me deal with the source and problem of evil. 

God's Story

Creator God

            "In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth," are the first words of the Bible.[1] This is a profound statement indeed. We know just a fraction of how wonderfully vast and intricate the earth is, and even far less about the "heavens." What we do know is God created everything and, "saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good."[2] God created the beautiful mountains, the vast oceans, the abundant resources, and even people. He created all of it and everything was perfect. Did you know that God created you to look like himself? The Bible says, "God created man in his own image."[3] This doesn't mean we physically appear the same as God, but have some of his qualities. Like a landscape painting is a created reproduction of the real landscape, you and I are painted portraits of God. We are not only made in his image, but we included in that "very good" category with everything else. While we can't see God, we can see his creation and learn a lot about him through it, including ourselves. Right about now you should be asking, "Hold on. If God is good and created every person, plant, animal, thing, idea, etc., 'good,' why are there wars and sickness and disasters and other evils in the world?" The Bible has a one word answer for that: sin.

Why Not Everything is "Good"

            Evil isn't something God created. In fact, evil isn't a thing at all, it's an absence or twisting of something; namely, good.[4] God's creation, his commands, and his qualities are good things, and it is we who have neglected and twisted them. This is what sin is; man's twisting of good. God feels pain when he sees his creation twisted, and so this sin has a consequence: death.[5] The Bible tells us that, "just as sin came into the world through one man, and death through sin, ... so death spread to all men because all sinned."[6] We see sin in the world in violence and corruption, infidelity and divorce, oppression and substance abuse. We see death in sickness and disasters, wars and hunger, suicides and murders. We know these things exist, and they are nothing new. These things have existed since ancient times, and the Bible tells us they all came from one man; the first man every created by God, our representative. Ever since the beginning, no matter how much we try to change the world for good, evil seems to prevail. There's no charity or philosophy or religion to totally stop either the person or the country next door from hurting themselves or others. There's no science or medicine or disaster preparation that totally beats death. In short: we can't save ourselves, and we need help. Need some good news? God has already come to our rescue.

God Came to Us, and His Name is Jesus

            God, by his very nature, must destroy what is no longer good, which pretty much means everything on earth. But God isn't a machine. He has emotions like us and even feels love. He didn't create man just to destroy, but to be one with himself and to care for the earth.[7] When we failed at that and even forgot how, he did something amazing. He came down and showed us how; not as mighty creator God, but as a helpless babe, born to a poor family in an inferior village in a nameless country.[8] He grew to a man and followed every command of God.[9] Not once did he twist something good. Not once did he sin. He lived a perfect life, deserving of finally being with God for eternity. However, the Son of God didn't get what he deserved. Instead, he chose to trade his good and perfect record for our stained and twisted one, and died a criminal's death, nailed to wooden cross.[10] After thinking about that for a while, think on these words; "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not parish, but have eternal life."[11] God's Son gave his right and inheritance to us. And since he took our record, he died a death for all of mankind, taking all of God's grief upon himself. Since his life was perfect and he had all the fullness of God, the grief of God was fully satisfied in his destruction for all of mankind. "For if many died through one man's trespass, much more have the grace of God and the free gift by the grace of that one man Jesus Christ abounded for many."[12] What was the reason for all of this? Love. "Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you," says God in human form, the man who took our place, Jesus the priest and king, the Son of God.[13] If you want to be a friend of Jesus and have eternal life, you just need to believe in him and do what he commands. Let's see if this is any easier than trying to live a perfect life.

Becoming a Child of God, a Friend of Jesus

            In law, a gift is only a gift if it is received or accepted. This makes sense, since you can't enjoy the effects of the gift unless you take it and apply it. The Bible says that salvation is a gift.[14] If so, in order for it to have any effect, we must receive it. No one who doesn't give up his sin and notice the gift is going to receive it, but it's right there for the taking for anyone who would believe in it and receive it.  To receive it, we must believe in his name, and this means we give up our notion of saving ourselves. Once we do this, we inherit the right to be a child of God![15] To believe in it is to "confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead."[16] This is the best part. Jesus didn't stay dead. He rose from the dead and appeared to many.[17] He conquered death and showed that he was fully God. This means that though we still physically die, we will be physically raised like him to everlasting life! Death has no power over any who believe! But there's still that command of Jesus to consider. "This is my commandment," Jesus said, "that you love one another as I have loved you."[18] This is a call for you to share the gift you received with your friends, your neighbors, even your enemies, until he returns and we spend eternity with him. This is God's story and how you fit in. Right now he's calling you to trust in his name and believe in the death and resurrection of his son, to accept the free gift of grace he has for you, and to share it with the world he loves. 

---

[1] Genesis 1:1.

[2] Genesis 1:31.

[3] Genesis 1:27.

[4] It was Saint Augustine of Hippo who first came up with this solution for the problem of evil.

[5] Genesis 6:5-7.

[6] Romans 5:12.

[7] Genesis 2:15

[8] John 1:14.

[9] Luke 1:80,

[10] Colossians 2:13-15.

[11] John 3:16.

[12] Romans 5:15b ("For if many...").

[13] John 15:13, 14.

[14] Ephesians 2:8.

[15] John 1:12.

[16] Romans 10:8.

[17] 1 Corinthians 15:3-6.

[18] John 15:12

Hafa adai from Guam!

It's been a long time since my last update. So many cool things have been happening in my life recently. Before any of that though, I'd like to say...

THANK YOU!

To all my friends and family who have supported me in prayer and finances for my education, thank you so much. To Ebenezer Reformed Church in Leighton, IA especially: thank you for investing in my life and my future. I'm coming up on my 3rd year in Guam and I love to look back at how much I've changed and how much God has done through me. Thank you for supporting me and continuing to pray for me. I never know how I'm going to pay for the next semester for school, but the Lord always provides =)


I will soon be finished with my TESL minor at PIU. That means the only thing left will be a few classes for my major. I expect to be finished with my BA in Biblical Studies sometime next year. It seems like its been a long road, but I'm thankful for all of the challenges and blessings I've had along the way.

I'm no longer an English language teacher at the Japanese School of Guam. Teaching elementary and middle school children was a very stressful job to have along with being a full time student, so I decided to load up on morning classes again and find a better job. I was very sad to leave the Japanese school as the Japanese are very close to my heart. However, God had something better in store for me.

Our pastor at the Lurtheran Church of Guam was called to another ministry last December and left for the States. He was also our music director at church. I was very active with the worship team then and asked out of curiousity if anyone would step up to lead it in his absence. To my surprise he asked if I would lead it!


So, after I returned to Guam, I started my most challenging and most rewarding job and ministry ever. I became the music director at the Lutheran Church of Guam! My duties are to pick all of the music, teach it to the musicians, and direct the songs during the service. My first few weeks were very hard. I tried my best to approach worship music in the best way, but I felt many expectations from myself and others that were simply too heavy. I learned many things about patience and humility during those first few weeks, as nothing seemed to go the way I wanted it to.

I know now that God intended nothing to go my way, but everything to go his way. I relaxed my expectations on myself and relied on him more, and the music at LCG blossomed. We've even started a choir! I remember watching my choir director in high school wondering if I could do that someday... the Lord knows my heart so well! On any Sunday I receive many comments about the music, both good and bad, and of course it makes me so joyful to hear when God used the music to really touch someone during the service.

I have so many things to be thankful for. Who'd have thought I'd be directing a choir and a worship team for a whole church? Only God can work together something so wonderful and fulfilling!

Since joining LCG, I've been a volunteer with the youth group. Last year we went to the Philippines to work at an orphanage. The trip was so successful that LCG decided to make a permanent commitment to the orphanage, and the orphanage invited another team. Earlier this month we returned to the Philippines to work at the same orphanage, this time bringing a bigger team. We brought a carpenter and a doctor from our congregation also. We were able to serve the ministry there in ways that we couldn't last year, such as construction and health check-ups. Like last year, I fell in love with the orphans. Many of the same children were still there, though happily, some are in the process of adoption. You can be in prayer for the CCS orphanage in Manila. They are undergoing changes and difficulties. You can read about the details of the trip on the youth leader's blog here.

Istayed an extra week in the Philippines after the team returned to Guam to spend time with Diana and her family. This is perhaps the most exciting news of all... I can't express how happy and excited I am, and I am so thankful that God led me to the Philippines last year to meet Diana: my future wife. That's right. I'm engaged! YAHOO! God is good!

Thanks again for all your support and prayers.

Grace & Peace,

Kevin Patrick Graham

Guam Update September 2011

When I left Iowa for Guam in August of 2010, I was 23 years old. Now I'm 25 and I've been on Guam for over a year. Looking back, it's amazing to see everything that God has worked together. I've spent this last 3 months learning some hard lessons but also some very awesome ones. God indeed has his own plans for our good, and more importantly for his good. Through my Bible reading, classes, and experiences, I'm learning many things about his character and about mine.

Hafa adai, from Guam! As we say in the Philippines, mabuhay!

As I mentioned in my last update, I've been working with the Lutheran Church of Guam youth ministry. Since my last update, I've been to several of their meetings and gotten to know the youth boys a lot better.

This summer, we took the youth on a service trip to Manila, Philippines. Our goal was to provide relief and support to an orphanage and Christian school affiliated with the Lutheran mission there. We spent a few days working at the orphanage caring for the children and doing some house cleaning, providing a much needed break for the orphanage staff. The staff there works a gruelling 12 hours a day, 6 days a week on a meager, support-funded payroll, caring for the children that no one wanted. During our time there we heard heart-breaking stories of grace about these orphans. One little newborn was found in a dumpster with her own afterbirth. Another was found on the floor in the mall. Each of the orphans had their story, many revealing the wickedness of humans, but all revealing the great care of God.

The orphanage stands today to say boldly that every life is precious, even those considered trash by some. Probably the greatest practical gift we brought to the orphanage was a monetary donation equaling about a month's worth of expenses for the orphanage, answering the prayers of their leader who relies completely on God for month to month support. Please consider Concordia Children's Services in your prayers.

The trip impacted both those in the Philippines and our youth as they saw a large amount of poverty and developed a love for people less fortunate than them. After the trip, the Manila team headed back to Guam; everyone except me, that is. I had developed a friendship with a Filipino family on Guam who invited me to stay in the Philippines with their extended family for an extra week and a half. For the next 10 days, I lived in a house in the suburbs of Manila with all Filipinos, eating Filipino food and living Filipino style. I must say, some things about the Philippines were very hard for me to get used to, but I my hosts were incredibly generous in taking care of me.

As a group we travelled to the city of Baguio deep in the northern mountains. The trip was an amazing, trying, but maturing cultural experience.

Aside from working with LCG youth group and being a member of their worship team, I also attend a weekly Bible study with young adults from around the island. The young adults group sees a lot of people come and go. The last person to leave island was one of my best friends and former PIU English teacher Jen. Jen has had a deep spiritual impact on my life and will be missed.

I'm currently living in an apartment with the new PIU English teacher Joey. Joey has also been a blessing in my life and a great room mate.

Fall classes have begun. I'm taking 5 classes this semester; Bible Study Methods, Christian Doctrine 3, Exegesis in Genesis, Methods/Materials in TESL, and Ministry Development.

My friends Nino and Glenda had their baby girl born in late August, the smallest baby Guam has ever seen (a mere 4.8 lbs!). Since they are in need of transportation and it's no longer practical for me to drive them places, I signed the Tercel over to them. I am since without transportation. My friends have been gracious in driving me around as I need, but I'm also walking and riding my bike a lot more. Oh speaking of that bike, I mentioned my situation in front of my pastor here, and he decided to give me his bike on the spot! It's great how God is providing for me through difficult situations.

I'm still attending weekly Japanese lessons with Naoko. My Japanese vocabulary and grammar is steadily growing.

I've learned some valuable lessons recently that I want to share briefly. The first has to do with possessions and generosity. Being a college student, I've never really been on top of my finances. Since coming here I have become the owner of so many things that were given freely to me in my need. One of the more recent gifts given to me was a bed by the PIU Student Life VP. I asked how much he wanted and he said, "$12." However, when I tried to give him $12, he smiled and said, "just pay it forward." Paying it forward... that's a concept that has new life for me. I've been thinking long and hard about all of the gifts given to me, especially by my home church and my parents, both who know full well I can't possibly pay them back anytime soon, at least monetarily. Everyone has had some kind of gift given to them, but since being here, I feel like I've been getting more than I ever dreamed to meet every need. Someday I'll be in a position to be giving gifts. Isn't it like grace? I can't possibly pay God back for that, but I think he wants me to "pay it foward." I think it's that eternal gift he gives us that compels us to give freely. In this way, essentially, every gift is from God. Perhaps this is what James means in James 1:17 "Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change."

I'd like to share more lessons I've learned recently, but I'm running short on time for this update. In short, I never stop growing and learning, and I never expect to stop. It's amazing to see all of the good things God is working into me and bad things he's worked out. I can't wait to see what happens next. I'm just praying that he really uses me to bless and challenge others in the coming months. I ask for your continued prayer support and thank you so much for everything since I've come out here!

Grace & Peace,

Kevin Patrick Graham

Music 8: Music for Lent

Of Man

Cool Hand Luke

(Experimental/Worship/Conceptual)

I'm not a dedicated fan of Cool Hand Luke, but I know they've been around for something like 10 years or more. I think they started out doing indie or emo with Christian themes. They've grown a lot over the years. I read that this is their final album as one of the members goes on to seminary.

Of Man is an incredible concept album. The 12 tracks take you through the steps of Jesus ministry years and death. The music is what you would expect from a concept album, and they waste no time on repetition if it's not necessary. Each instrumental section moves with the theme. The result is something like a modern rock lent mass.

The singer has no special traits, and doesn't boast a soaring, high pitched voice like many of my favorite bands do. However, he does sing with delicate mix of emotions, mostly those of betrayal, confusion, darkness; but touches on faithfulness and grace. The vocals actually very much match the movements of the instruments.

Suggested tracks are Goodbye, for Now, The Last Supper, and His Eyes (an incredibly powerful musical interpretation of the crucifixion), though I suggest that you listen to the whole album in one sitting with no distraction. This is an ALBUM album.

Check out Cool Hand Luke's myspace here.

Listen to "His Eyes" below.

Personal Updates have been back issued!

Hello all. I've posted all my former email updates (from last August) on this blog. Check them out under 'Personal Updates.'

Guam Update May 2011

Nearly 3 semesters later, I've finally found the time to write another update on this blog. Actually, there are many reasons why it's been difficult to write, but God told me this morning, "it's time." Those of you following my email updates, this will serve as the first one since Christmas.

All that aside, hafa adai! from Guam!

I'm excited to share some of the amazing things going on right now, but first I want to share some of the difficulties I've encountered. As you know from my last email update, the Christmas mission to Saipan was a spiritual mountain for me. Since that time until recently, I've been very much in the valley.

The start of it came with an exciting blessing that I thought God was giving me. My hope was that a relationship that was pleasing to him finally came my way. I prayed continually that everything would go according to his plan and that I would represent him in it. My quiet times were long and intimate, and every challenge fueled my understanding of his grace. However, some time later it was clear that God's will was different from what I expected and a very, very difficult reality set in.

By the start of the Spring semester, I was sharing God's faithfulness with my brothers. I was an RA in the dorm and a Bible study leader. I was on Student Council. I was a 4.0 student. I was a worship leader.

By the middle of the semester I had given up my RA status, quit student council, stopped playing on the worship team, and missed a few classes. I had many fallouts with my brothers, and even switched dorms to be away from them. I had become the opposite of the faithfulness I had proclaimed at the start of the year.

I was bitter and lonely, and hopeless until God reached out his hand again. I had a few close friends who would offer to pray with me many times, and one in particular who would graciously let me dump my frustrations on him night after night. With the help of these friends, student life staff, a counselor, and a lot of work by the Holy Spirit, I started a slow ascent out of the valley.

By the end of the semester, I had restored some of the fallouts with my brothers. I was invited back on the worship team. I started a couple of ministries at church. I finished the semester with a 3.9 GPA. Actually, since then, there have been more blessings than I can count. I'll talk more about those below. Though the semester was full of trials and heartbreak and failures, I came away with some important lessons.

1) The Lord gives and the Lord takes away, blessed be the name of the Lord. In both Job's case and mine (trivial by comparison), the Lord then restores far more than he gave at first or took away.

2) A relationship with a person doesn't satisfy like a relationship with Jesus. All of the things I learned about grace will make me a better husband someday, but they more importantly make me a better child of God.

3) When loosing something good, jealousy and anger creep in, making footholds for Satan to overwhelm you.

4) No matter the circumstance, God is always reaching for you, through Christian brothers, through mentors, through your heart, even directly. I was a mess, but all I had to do was open my eyes and my heart to see how much he was fighting for me.

These lessons are precious to me now, and I see how when my faithfulness fails, God's still prevails. There have been even more blessings than these. The old '89 Buick was giving me lot's of problems and mechanic experience, so my friend said, "let's pray for a more reliable car." We did, and the next day my boss at the Japanese school sold me her '98 Tercel ridiculously cheap.

Another blessing came at church one evening. I was joking with a Japanese woman named Naoko on the praise team that she would teach me Japanese and I would do her English homework. A few days later she surprised me told me that she was moved by my will to do missions in Japan and offered my private Japanese lessons for free. I've been taking Japanese lessons every Monday night since, and it makes me even more confident of God's will for me in Japan. Her and her husband Curtis are good friends of mine now and I'm incredibly blessed by them.

I didn't think the Japanese School would be calling me back since I was merely a sub for a pregnant teacher. However, some time in March I was interviewed by them again and offered a position as an English teacher for a whole year! Many of my former students shouted for joy when they got me as a teacher again, which made me feel like a proud role model to them. I'm hoping that my time there will point some of the students and their parents and the other teachers to Jesus.

I've got two semesters at PIU down, and possibly still a year and a half to go. I'm halfway through my TESL minor, but I've got a lot of classes left for my Biblical Studies major. Our graduation ceremony was a few weeks ago. There were about 20 graduates. You can see the details on the PIU blog.

I'm currently on board the youth ministry team at the Lutheran Church of Guam. I haven't been to an actual meeting yet, but my 'initiation' comes this summer. From June 18 until July 4, I'll be in the Philippines with them. The first week will be spent volunteering at an orphanage in Manila, and the second week will be just me and a Filipino family traveling and seeing both the beauty of the countryside and the poverty of the slums. The church has payed most of my way to go. I'm very excited to be involved with the youth, and to be a part of the team this summer. I'm hoping that my experience in the Philippines will be humbling.

Lastly, I got an email from John Van Farrowe. You all know he's pretty much the reason I'm in Guam right now. He's coming to Guam sometime in November and this will be the first time actually meeting him face to face. We'll be talking about some future missions options for me and possible correspondence between PIU and his ministry in Japan. If everything goes smoothly, it could be the start of a very good relationship between a great ministry in Japan and the only accredited Christian college in the Pacific Islands.

Thank you so much for all of the support and prayers. Please continue to pray. It's going to be a long ride, but the result will hopefully be a small ministry among the largest unreached people group in the world. Japan needs Jesus.

Blessings, grace, and peace to my family in Christ,

Kevin Patrick Graham

Guam Update January 2011

Just a quick update for early January!

I started my job as an English teacher at Guam Nihonjin Gakku (Japanese School). I am blown away by how much I loved it. Who'd have thought I'd be a teacher? I hated school, and here I am loving it! All of my students were amazing. Even the tough times were amazing. There is one little girl who needs a little extra help, and I found myself loving her and reaching out to help her; it just amazes me what God's done in my life. I would have never thought this would happen; not only having the job, but discovering all these surprise character traits that go along with being a teacher, that the Spirit has grown in me, that I've been choking for so long. This is the first job that I have truly loved doing and feel like I am making a difference by doing.

School (PIU) is just a week and a half away. Thanks everyone for supporting me with prayer and everything! I miss you all and hope to hear from you. Thank you for being patient; God is working for sure!

Guam Update November-December 2010

Hafa-adai (greetings) from Guam!

One semester under my belt and 3 or 4 to go! It’s been a long and stressful term, both deeply impactful and incredibly challenging. I know I can’t include everything in this update, but I’m going to do my best.

First of all, the semester is over! I’ve just completed New Testament History, Christian Doctrine I, Wisdom Literature, Linguistics I, and Ministry Introduction. It’s great having all of my classes themed toward my major.

Next semester my schedule will be a little different. I’m glad to announce that I’ve been hired at Guam Nihon Gakku (Japanese School) and will be teaching English to Japanese students ages 6-14. I start on January 6 and will continue working until the end of the semester. As most of you know, the job is a huge answer to prayer. I didn’t have many credentials, and I was extremely nervous in my interview. Yet God won the heart of the principal and I was hired on the spot! Since I will be working 3 mornings a week, I will be taking some online classes and some afternoon classes. My goal is to remain a full time student as long as I am here.

I am also pleased to announce that I have been selected to be an RA for the guys dorm for next semester. Unlike ordinary universities, RAs here are somewhat responsible for the spiritual health of the students. We will be spending time meeting and praying for all the students.

As you know from my last email, there is chapel twice a week all semester. Last semester, my friend Leeman was leading every chapel. For next semester, student life is giving me the opportunity to share the load with him and take half the chapels. I’ll be leading chapel worship every Friday morning.

I haven’t been back to Faith Presbyterian since my last email. Instead, I’ve been attending Lutheran Church of Guam every Sunday. I’ve gotten to know the pastor, Jeff, very well, and he’s even recently invited me to join the worship team. I’ve gotten to know many of the church members and have found a great family at LCG. I promise all of you, I am not becoming a Lutheran! Pastor Jeff is actually very supportive of my Calvinist roots, and LCG is in fact, not very Lutheran. In any case, I went through several weeks of church hopping, trying to discern the best place for me, and I am now very sure my place is at LCG.

As you know from my last update, there is a ministry that some of the PIU students do at the University of Guam. Since helping out last semester, I’ve been invited and am very excited to take a more active role this semester.

The UOG ministry team just returned from a week long Christmas mission trip to Saipan. We stayed at the Saipan Evangelical Church, a small Palauan church in the mountains. Every night, we would put on a program consisting of skits, action songs, choir, worship, a message, and student testimonies. I was a part of many of the activities and got to see God do some amazing things. The week was incredibly difficult for all of us. Practices were long and trying, but every evening before the program, all of us would pray earnestly that God would use our feeble preparation.

Tension was high for most of the trip, and eventually led to most of us breaking down on the last day, approaching everyone with whom our relationship wasn’t right. Every night, members in the congregation would approach us and tell us how they were blessed by the program, and every night, we would assess the evening as a group and realize that God was working just as hard in all of us as he was in the congregation. Aside from the evening programs, we did a lot of community service, meal preparation, and even one afternoon of door-to-door evangelism.

I learned a lot of personal lessons from God, as well, most of which are very hard for me to explain. With Saipan’s beauty and the church’s remote location, it was easy for me to go exploring and do my quiet times and devotions away from the others. One path leading away from the church went through the jungle and up the hill to a large opening surrounded by cliffs, jungle, and a multitude of birds. It was there that I went to God and cried out to him every day. There was so much stress and hardship during the trip that I found myself in tears many times. But it was during those times that I felt I was closer to God that I ever have been. Every time I think I have a good relationship with him, he shows me that I do not, and takes me even deeper. One thing I learned from him during the week is that he cares for me, loves me, and even wants to bless me, but every time I take him for granted and neglect him, good things in my life are just temporary. It seems like every time I act on my own and forget to trust him I mess things up. I wish I was better at explaining it. Just know that those quiet times were a big step in my walk, some of many more I hope. I have become quite sensitive since coming here. I didn’t ever imagine myself like this!

Anyways, from now until January 17 I will be on Winter break. I’m not yet registered for next semester, but as it stands I am in need of support. I am still ineligible for financial aid due to my income last year. Once my registration is complete, I’ll have a better idea of what I owe for next semester, but for now just be in prayer that God will provide. Also, please be praying for my relationships with others here.

I’ve made some of the best friends of my life here who constantly encourage me, pray for me, and hold me accountable. I’m hoping that God uses me in the same way so that I can be that kind of witness to others. I’ve experienced debilitating depression and homesickness at times, especially when I am confronted with cultural challenges and stress, but so far God has met it all and raised me up. I’ve heard that successful foreign missionaries wait up to a year before getting involved in serious ministry, and now I’m beginning to see why. I thought I was invincible when I came here, that I could detach myself from my own culture and transition easily. Now I see just how attached I am. The clearest mirror in the world is living overseas.

I’m praying for a chance in the future to come back and give a full report, even to do some recruiting. I am in love with this place and what God is doing in my life through it. I hope to hear back from some of you. Please continue to pray for me.

Grace and Peace,

Kevin Patrick Graham

Guam Update October 2010

Hafa-adai (greetings) from Guam!

I had hoped to send these at least once a month, and I realize I am long overdue. I beg your pardon in regard. I am officially an undergraduate student of Biblical Studies and TESL at Pacific Islands University, 1/3 through my first semester of my junior year! It will take me a little longer than expected to finish due to finances. I will address that more below.

I am healthy and doing well, despite lacking sleep and good food. Micronesians tend to stay awake all night and sleep during down time. I'm trying to find a healthy balance there. We have catered food everyday, usually consisting of rice, fatty meats, and Korean style veggies. I share Al Bandstra's distaste for pickled kimchi veggies. I buy a lot of tuna, bread, and green peppers from the grocery store and prepare my own meals when I have time.

I am living in the men's dorm with 2 Americans (there are only 5 American students in the dorm) and one local. I am in close fellowship with the two Americans, Josh and Doug, as we spend many nights staying up studying and addressing hard questions with our Bibles and books. We all have a certain respect for our student-hood--that is, that we don't know the answers--and that we are here to learn from our instructors and each other. How different it is to live with brothers in Christ, than with unbelievers. On occasion we are so richly taught and blessed that we forfeit rest and spend time in prayer. There is also discomfort in the dorms. I mentioned the food and lack of sleep; another thing might be temptation to have sloth. I will go into more detail about my struggles below.

I am taking five classes. They are Christian Doctrine 1 (Theology), Wisdom Literature (the "writings" of the Old Testament), New Testament History (Matthew-Acts), Ministry Introduction (observation reports), and Linguistics (for my TESL minor). My classes are both challenging and engaging, and hold extra weight by their nature. I am learning about the Bible at an accelerated rate, responding in projects, papers, prayer, and practice.

I recently won a 1989 Buick LeSaber by auction for $501.01. Some of you know I was praying for transportation due to the school's odd location. Well, the car is in great condition. It had one owner, and was donated to the school after that owner passed. Driving in a ugly brown vintage luxury vehicle is a far cry from my beloved manual sports car back home, but I am adjusting well and praising God for his supplication and sense of humor. (It happens to be the spitting image of my grandmother's old car, and it reminds me of her. I count it as a blessing for sure!) Humorously, on my first night driving I misjudged a u-turn and blew a tire on the curb. A week later I locked my keys inside at the Department of Motor Vehicles just after receiving my Guam Driver's License, and having an audience, broke in with piece of fence wire.

If you have seen my pictures, you have some idea of what Guam is like. I can drive through the city, walk through the jungle, swim in the ocean, eat wild coconuts, climb mountains, explore caves, and bask in the sun in a single day.

With my travels, however, I am getting a fuller picture of the earth and God's plan for it versus my romanticizing of it. Guam is a tropical island, but is a sort of paradise of deception if you are not careful. Some of my Micronesian friends have explained their upbringing on islands and how paradise quickly scoops you up into laziness and "island fever." Every place on Earth has its rose and its thorn. God's craftsmanship is extraordinary, but the residents are suffering from some isolation and apathy. On a positive note, I get to enjoy snorkeling in the ocean reef on a regular basis and am becoming quite the swimmer!

I will share a bit of history regarding the school. I'm sure some of you know the story of Hudson Taylor and the China Inland Mission. PIU is a result of both his initiation and Leibenzell missionaries from Germany. Most of Micronesia is catholic, thanks to the Spanish; and many of the students have catholic backgrounds. PIU is the sole protestant, evangelical university in the area. All of my teachers and most of the staff are missionaries from the States.

The school itself is a form of ministry, and with our small size, that is much more evident than it would be at a larger evangelical university. We have chapel twice a week, and devotion every school night. We have a fellowship/worship/game night every Saturday, and the students attend local churches on Sundays.

I am involved in several of the school's activities. I run sound for the worship team for all chapels and special events, and I play drums or bass as a back-up. I hope to lead worship here for the first time soon if not this Friday. I am also the male junior class representative for Student Council. (We just held a fund raiser for a StuCo scholarship we hope to be able to present students in the future.) Every Tuesday night, many of the students load up in a van with some sound equipment and go to the secular university (UOG) for Fellowship Live, an outreach we do for those college students. I get to take pictures and videos of the activities and play somewhat of a guiding role in prayer. It's cool to see the students' hearts for the believers and lost at UOG.

Perhaps the hardest struggle for me here is daily dorm life. Everyone here (like anywhere else) is either a Paul, a Peter, a David, a Pharisee, or a Roman. There is a lot of impatience, sensiivity, hypocrisy, brokenness, envy, rumor, lust, and rebellion. The amazing thing about all of that is the fact that God is making a kind of strand of firecrackers out of our short fuses that causes some to break down completely and give incredible testimonies and soft, raw hearts to Jesus. I have had to pray for an extra measure of patience due to a number of things, but God works on me just as hard as the prodigal son. Many times my sacrifice (a contrite heart) is my pride, and I am continually being forced to surrender it, all praise to God!

There have been several special events and side notes that I want to add to this email, but numerous as they are, I can't. Know specifically that God is working in more than just the school chapels and church services.

My requests to you are prayers for several things. First, upon arriving I found out that I am ineligible to receive any sort of financial aid, Leibenzell scholarship, or work-study due to my income last year. For this reason, I will have to find a job to pay for my schooling here. I know that God is already at work, providing for me in ways I can't imagine; but I would ask for your prayers still.

Second, please be praying for my brothers and sisters here as we all suffer from growing pains and some intolerance. There are some new believers, and some that are so close but are still held by things outside. My roommate in particular is suffering from certain things. He did sit down with us one night and we all prayed with him in tears for God to take his pain away and give him Jesus. He still needs prayers. There are so many negative distractions in his life and he just can't quite give it all up.

Third, please be in prayer for Faith Church as they continue to search for a pastor.

Fourth, please be in prayer for my sanctification.

Fifth, please pray for my future ministry both here and in Japan, that I would be continually Kingdom-focused.

Sixth, be in prayer for my family and I, as I have found it incredibly difficult to find time to stay in touch with them, and it looks like I could be overseas for as long as 3+ years.

I have been in correspondence with John Van Farowe, and may have some exciting news soon in regards to Japan. I miss you all and pray that God is working in your lives. I am working on a video/presentation that will hopefully convince some of your youth/children to come to school here! I apologize for the length of this email and will try to be more selective with the next one. So much can happen in a month! God bless and praise to Jesus our Lord.

Grace & Peace,

Kevin Patrick Graham